| Pages in topic: [1 2 3] > | Off topic: Bilingual Jokes Thread poster: Alison Sparks (X)
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Alison Sparks (X) 
Local time: 11:33
French to English
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I came across a joke the other day which was only funny if one knew both languages. I'm wondering if any one has other examples. I have to admit the joke works better when spoken.
Here goes for the joke - and I hope it amuses you.
An English speaking visitor to a French rural town is sitting in a bar drinking a beer.
He is approached by one of the locals who points at the beer and says "fourmi".
"No, no" replies the visitor "for me"
The Frenchman thinks for a minute and the repeats "fourmi"
The visitor rather exasperated says again "No, no, for me"
This sequence is repeated several times until the visitor very annoyed thumps the Frenchman who hastily leaves the bar.
The barman seeing the altercation comes across and explains that the Frenchman was saying there is an ant in the beer.
"Oh heavens" says the visitor, "I must apologise to him. Does he come in here often"
"Yes, every day" replies the barman.
The following day the visitor returns and sits at the bar drinking a beer.
Suddenly he spots the Frenchman coming in, and waves to him. "Come here" he says beckoning to the man, "Come here"
To which the man replies "non, non, non pas comme hier"
| | | | Jan Willem van Dormolen (X)
Netherlands
Local time: 11:33
English to Dutch
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| English/Dutch | Feb 25, 2012 |
An American is on vacation in the Netherlands when, driving through the countryside, he spots a beautiful little farm. So he pulls up on the driveway to have a closer look. Unfortunately, he doesn't pay attention and crushes a couple of chickens in the process.
The farmer comes out of his house, fuming.
The American tries to tell him to "keep quiet".
To which the Dutch farmer replies: "Kiep kwait? Kiep kwait? K bun wel duzend kiepen kwait!"
(For those who are not f... See more An American is on vacation in the Netherlands when, driving through the countryside, he spots a beautiful little farm. So he pulls up on the driveway to have a closer look. Unfortunately, he doesn't pay attention and crushes a couple of chickens in the process.
The farmer comes out of his house, fuming.
The American tries to tell him to "keep quiet".
To which the Dutch farmer replies: "Kiep kwait? Kiep kwait? K bun wel duzend kiepen kwait!"
(For those who are not familiar with Dutch dialects: The words "keep quiet" sound almost the same as the Dutch rural dialect "kiep kwait", which means "chicken gone". ("Chicken gone? I've lost at least a dozen chicken!") ▲ Collapse
| | | | | Quick and dirty English-German | Feb 25, 2012 |
A very old one my mother told me at least 35 years ago. An Englishman visits Germany and greets the locals:
- Englishman: "How do you do?"
- A German: "Hau du zu erst!"
(The German understands something about "hauen", "hitting", and challenges the Englishman to hit first!)
| | | | | Another English-French... | Feb 25, 2012 |
Why did the Chef kill himself?
Because he lost his huile d'olive!
[Edited at 2012-02-25 12:11 GMT]
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| A Russian on the Czech border. | Feb 25, 2012 |
You don´t need to know Czech as such for this one, but at least cultural background.
A Russian on the Czech border.
Border guard: Occupation?
Russian: No, just a visit.
| | | | Henk Peelen
Netherlands
Local time: 11:33
Member (2002)
German to Dutch
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SITE LOCALIZER | "It kin net" Fries / Dutch: to be possible or to not be possible, that's the question | Feb 25, 2012 |
The Netherlands is a small country, but with most countries, it's more diverse than the preconceptions / stereotypes suggest (...).
It has 12 povinces and in three provinces, Limburg, Groningen and Friesland some of the "natives" don't feel ashamed to call the inhabitants of the other 11 provinces plainly strangers or "Nederlanders", which is the common indication for all inhabitants of The Netherlands. So: they see the federal government like a kind of occupying force and visitors from th... See more The Netherlands is a small country, but with most countries, it's more diverse than the preconceptions / stereotypes suggest (...).
It has 12 povinces and in three provinces, Limburg, Groningen and Friesland some of the "natives" don't feel ashamed to call the inhabitants of the other 11 provinces plainly strangers or "Nederlanders", which is the common indication for all inhabitants of The Netherlands. So: they see the federal government like a kind of occupying force and visitors from the other 11 province like a kind of intruders. One of the most characteristic provinces is Friesland, one of the survivals (more cultural and langual survivals in Germany and other NL parts) of a former North Sea coastal kingdom, stretching from Belgium to Denmark. The province flag shows seven water lilly leaves, when NL became the crown on its land reclaiming process, it's 12th province, its capital became Lelystad (Lily-city). In my opinion, the lily leaves refer to the lilly leave crowns on the pilars before Solomons temple (or the other way around) and the numbers 7 and 12 aint coincidental either.
Anyway, next to Dutch, English and Papiamento, Fries is one of the unofficial languages and the languages Fries and Dutch do have a lot of false friends, 17 million speakers and some words, of which “net” is the most vicious one: it means “just, exactly” in Dutch, but “not” in Fries. So the biggest joy of the Fries people might be warning a “Nederlander” something aint possible in the hope he / she understands it wrong: “It kin net!” (“it can not”, which the Hollander / stranger / Nederlander understands as “het kan net” = “just enough room to do it”).
The proud Friesland province, where I have been living for 10 joyfull years, noseing out what was not possible and what should not be nosed out, has a lot of proud brands, among them the gin bitter “Sonnema”. So, watch their ad and you’ll ubderstand theat the peasant in the pub easily makes friends by expressing how he warned the Nederlanders / strangers / Hollanders
And then you’d take into account that I saaiiid to these nincompoops “it kin net!!!”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUXiqkAKr-0
The ad shrewdly uses the effect with “Fries is a beautilful language, but we all understand Sonnema”. ▲ Collapse
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This is about an old man who travels from Spain to the States to visit some relatives there, but he cannot speak English at all.
He is quite worried about it, because he has to take a bus after landing; but his relative tells him not to worry and gives him some directions to follow when landing in the USA.
- Don't worry. When you get the desk you just have to say "to Kentucky".
- O.K. I'll do so - replies the old man.
So, the times comes when h... See more This is about an old man who travels from Spain to the States to visit some relatives there, but he cannot speak English at all.
He is quite worried about it, because he has to take a bus after landing; but his relative tells him not to worry and gives him some directions to follow when landing in the USA.
- Don't worry. When you get the desk you just have to say "to Kentucky".
- O.K. I'll do so - replies the old man.
So, the times comes when he has to buy his ticket and he nervoulsy says to the girl behind the desk:
- What may I do for you?
- To Kentucky - says the old man automatically
- On the bus?
- To Kentucky - repeats the old man.
(On the bus? sounds quite similar to a relaxed pronunciation of the question "¿donde vas? -where are you going?-)
Enjoy! ▲ Collapse
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Libor wrote:
You don´t need to know Czech as such for this one, but at least cultural background.
A Russian on the Czech border.
Border guard: Occupation?
Russian: No, just a visit.
This one's GOOOD!
Thanks, Libor!
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neilmac
Spain
Local time: 11:33
Spanish to English
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Alison Sparks wrote:
I came across a joke the other day which was only funny if one knew both languages. I'm wondering if any one has other examples. I have to admit the joke works better when spoken.
Here goes for the joke - and I hope it amuses you.
An English speaking visitor to a French rural town is sitting in a bar drinking a beer.
He is approached by one of the locals who points at the beer and says "fourmi".
"No, no" replies the visitor "for me"
The Frenchman thinks for a minute and the repeats "fourmi"
The visitor rather exasperated says again "No, no, for me"
This sequence is repeated several times until the visitor very annoyed thumps the Frenchman who hastily leaves the bar.
The barman seeing the altercation comes across and explains that the Frenchman was saying there is an ant in the beer.
"Oh heavens" says the visitor, "I must apologise to him. Does he come in here often"
"Yes, every day" replies the barman.
The following day the visitor returns and sits at the bar drinking a beer.
Suddenly he spots the Frenchman coming in, and waves to him. "Come here" he says beckoning to the man, "Come here"
To which the man replies "non, non, non pas comme hier"
Am still chuckling at this one...
| | | | Manuela Junghans
Germany
Local time: 11:33
Member (2004)
English to German
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| Thanks, Libor | Feb 26, 2012 |
I have to remember that one
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1st: Закрой окно, дует! Zakroj okno, duet! (Shut the window, it's windy)
2nd: Do it yourself!
| | | | Jan Rausch
Germany
Local time: 11:33
German to English
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| For those who've not seen it ... | Feb 26, 2012 |
Not strictly on topic, but this comes to mind:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yR0lWICH3rY
Probably something most of you have seen before. Still funny though I think.
[Modifié le 2012-02-26 17:02 GMT]
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| Another Ru-En | Feb 26, 2012 |
An Irishman at the airline office in Moscow:
- Two tickets to Dublin
- Kuda, blin? (To where, blin?)
- Tuda, blin! (To there, blin!)
PS. "Blin" in Russian is a mild swear word, something like "damn it". "To Dublin" sounds just like "Tuda, blin". So it looks like the Irishman asks for "two tickets to there, damn it". What makes this joke funny is that he understands the question in Russian and having been misunderstood in English he replies in Russian too, th... See more An Irishman at the airline office in Moscow:
- Two tickets to Dublin
- Kuda, blin? (To where, blin?)
- Tuda, blin! (To there, blin!)
PS. "Blin" in Russian is a mild swear word, something like "damn it". "To Dublin" sounds just like "Tuda, blin". So it looks like the Irishman asks for "two tickets to there, damn it". What makes this joke funny is that he understands the question in Russian and having been misunderstood in English he replies in Russian too, this time actually saying "to there, damn it". ▲ Collapse
| | | | tabor
Poland
Local time: 11:33
English to Polish
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| Here's another | Feb 26, 2012 |
A ghetto in a US city.
Three local men are preparing to rape a German tourist who's lost his way.
"Nein, nein, NNNNNEEEEEIIIINNNNNN", yells the guy.
The locals decide to phone six more men up to come.
| | | | | An old one... | Feb 26, 2012 |
This one has been all over the web, for ages:
Unos compadres se van a Houston de wetbacks y no hablan inglés.
Llega uno de ellos todo torcido por el viaje en la "troka" y se queja con el otro compadre:
"Oiga compadre tengo un dolor pero "perrón" en la "muñeca" que se me sube pa'rriba hasta el "conejo", luego como que se retacha pa'tras y pega en la "paleta" y de ahí pa'rriba hasta las "sienes" compadre.
El compadre contesta:
"Untate mentolato y no estés fregando."
El compadre insiste en que lo lleve al doctor, porque el dolor está muy severo y el compadre más o menos habla Ingles.
Llegan los compadres al Mercifull Hospital y se entrevistan con el Dr.
"Explicale mi dolencia" dice el compadre adolorido. "Usté si habla algo de inglich compadre."
El compadre leído, inicia la explicación:
"Look Doitor, aquí mi "Withfather" tiene un pain bien "dogy" que begun in the "left doll" and then run up to the "rabbit". And from the "rabbit" como que "take" pa' la "bakward" until the "lollipop" y luego agarra, pesca y get pa'rriba and finish in the "one hundreds" de los dos lados..."
El doctor en tono molesto le reprende:
"You are mentally retarded!"
Y el compadre leido le explica al otro:
"¿Ya ves compadre? !Que te pongas mentolato retearto!"
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